I live with 20 other men in a small shared space. This is what treatment is like [Video]

This First Person column is written by Jordan Kawchuk, who lives in Duncan, B.C. For more information about First Person stories, see the FAQ.

I currently live with 20 other men. 

At 52, I never imagined having to explain a roommate, let alone 24 of them — half of whom are straight out of prison. This is my fifth alcohol addiction treatment centre in 20 years. These liminal, lucid places of recovery reset my psyche and sobriety  — but damn, if I have to do this again.

Each time, I genuinely think, “This might be the one to finally keep me sober.“ But despite good stretches of sobriety and big wins in love, family and jobs, relapse is part of my story. It has nothing to do with being a lush, lacking willpower or having some moral failure. Alcoholism is a bio-psycho-social-spiritual disease; it hijacks my brain, body and spirit right when life is absolutely wonderful. 

I …